Wiley Brooks, founder of the Breatharian Institute of America claims his soul is so pure he can exist on a diet of nothing but air. No water, no food, just air. Money however is another matter. Brooks markets his spiritual offerings at a handsome price, $10,000 for a bottle of water, $1,000,000 for an immortality workshop. Back in 1983 he was apparently discovered emerging from a local 7-Eleven with a hot dog, a Slurpee and a box of Twinkies. Brooks now claims that diet coke and McDonalds cheeseburgers have special restorative properties however the exact combination of menu items to order require additional instruction, available at additional cost.
The conceit that we can walk lightly on the earth or somehow float above it is an appealing one. Recycling, buying fair trade coffee, riding your bike are all ways to lessen our individual footprint. However the math on what matters is sobering. Choosing to have one less child would be reduce your personal carbon emissions 600 times more than changing all the your lightbulbs. The sad fact is that merely living, especially in the developed world has an impact on the Earth no matter how pious we are about life choices.
The same is true for mirth. Enjoying existence even if meditating on a mountain top will have an inevitable impact on others ability to enjoy the view. Being alive requires food and water, produces waste, and uses energy. We all contribute to collective mirth by reveling in the moment. We subtract from it by accidentally or intentionally diminishing the mirth of others - henceforth known as mayhem.
The equation for universal net mirth is given here:
where W = worth (or net mirth), M = individual mirth, m = individual mayhem, summed over i = the number of sentient observers now and in the future (assumed to have equal individual value)
Simply put, net mirth is maximized by increasing the number of sentient observers having a great time without fucking it up for everybody else. But there is a fine balance. Too many people leads to over-populated misery, as well as undermining the mirth of our non-human planet-mates and future generations. Being alive is almost always better than the alternative but it is not necessarily a positive experience. Ask anyone severely depressed or desperately poor if their life is enjoyable and you will get an earful.
Seen through this mathematical lens, a worst case scenario would be large numbers of people consuming vast amounts of resources, while impoverishing others, imperiling the future, and having a lousy time doing it. It seems modern existence has room for improvement.
While we obviously have some shit to answer for, it is also important to not to indulge in recriminating despair. Yes this planet is beautiful and precious, but there is no "saving" it. In four billion years the Sun will expand past our orbit incinerating the entire thing. Earth and life have also survived many natural cataclysms far worse than us and will again. Nothing is permanent. What makes this place so special is the transient presence of life, particularly of the sentient variety. We are the guest of honor at a very exclusive party. And while we have so far hit the punch bowl pretty hard, the night is young and our task is simple: more mirth, less mayhem.